I have to admit I'm a bit discouraged today. I keep reading
articles and emails from women AND men indicating they would
rather get their nails done, read, etc., than spend romantic
time with their honey. Why is this happening? Why are we
taking each other for granted? This is not a simplistic issue
with a simplistic answer, but I will try to address some key
points.

Let me begin by saying I COMPLETELY understand being over-
booked. I understand having to multitask and think eight
steps ahead in order to meet the simple daily demands of
life. I understand that after a long day of commuting, work,
and appeasing co-workers and/or kids, the last thing you
want to do sometimes is have to go out of your way to shower
more carefully, shave, and put in the extra effort to be
sexy for your paramour. You can't function in today's
society without somehow being pulled in a thousand differ-
ent directions. I understand.

All that being said, I have a question for those in committed
relationships: do you know how fortunate you truly, truly are
to even have found someone you love? Not everyone even falls in love once in their lifetime. Many spend years trying people
on, only to be rejected or just not interested time and time
again. At weddings people often wish the couple "good luck",
but as my dad pointed out one time, it's not about "luck".
Relationships ARE hard work, without a doubt. But the fact
that you've already found someone to love is half the battle.
I'm not trying to sound all Hallmark or anything, but CHERISH
one another. APPRECIATE the bonds you have created.

Making the love is the most intimate, special gift you can
give to a partner. So what is going on if coupled peeps are
not only not having sex (pardon the double negatives), but
would also rather be watching paint dry? An obvious answer
would be that the sex is lacking to begin with. But hello!,
in this day and age, there are a million ways to improve
your sex life - that's the purpose of Great SEXpectations!

Manuals, sex toys, and advice columns are all at your finger-
tips. BOTH of you have to put in the effort to rekindle the
flame, even if that means hiring a babysitter and setting
aside an hour or two each week just for each other. Maybe
it's not the most spontaneous route, but you have to make
your sex life a priority. Otherwise nothing will improve.

On a completely different note, I understand there is a
serious lack of desire going on for both men and women, too.
Many times it can be a physical or hormonal issue, and we
will discuss that further in future columns.

I know some of today's comments probably sound simplistic or
obvious, but sometimes we need to take a step back to realize
how much we really have in life. Again, not everyone is
fortunate enough to find someone to love. If you have a sig-
nificant other, make a small gesture tonight - even if it's
an extra hug or a pat on the bootie as you walk by. Make it
a priority. As always, I remain...

Devotedly yours,

Carmen Sutra

- From the Great Sexpectations Newsletter -
© Copyright 2003 by Pulse Direct, Inc. All rights reserved.
Reprinted by permission.

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